Stand By Me SOS prequil
by imzadi1701D
Summary: Will Riker has been offered command of the Titan, and accepts. He wants to take Deanna with him but she refuses. What will this do to their relationship? Prequil to S.O.S. Enjoy!  I suck at summaries, please just click!


Info: I know I've been asked for a sequel, but here's a pre-quel! Here's what happened when Will Riker was offered command of the TITAN, and how Deanna Troi takes his decision. I know that the events in this don't' exactly line up with the first story, but I think the two will blend nicely. Time frame: Around the time of Insurrection, but if Insurrection had never happened. We can all pretend for a moment, right?

Disclaimer: Once again, I do not own the show or characters. Only in my dreams... :)

**Part One: The Decision**

Will Riker had a dificult decision on his hands. That morning, he had been offered command of the USS Titan. He had wanted his own ship ever since he had heard of Starfleet. He had been offered his own ship before, but had turned the opportunity down because of his life on the Enterprise. Then, it took him a lot of time and stressing to decide to turn it down, and that was durring only his second year aboard. Now, there were so many more things to gie up; so many more reasons to say no. But at the same time, there were many more reasons to accept. He had more experience, more knowledge of what it took to run a Federation starship.

There was one reason that really made him hesitate: Deanna Troi. Sure, things had never gone back to the way they were, but he still couldn't bring himself to hurt her again. He felt like he was at an intersection, both roads leading to dead ends. He could ask her to join his crew, but she wouldn't want to leave the Enterprise. She had created a life for herself here too, adn if she didn't come with him, he wouldn't be able to bear it. On the other hand, he could decline the offer, (again) and then possibly regret it for the rest of his carrer. In any other situation, he would be going to see Counselor Troi right about then. The thing is, he hadn't told her about the offer yet.

Deanna could sense that something was wrong with Will.

He had been tense all morning. There had been the most stressed and nervous emotions emanating from him in a long time. It had been years since she had felt him in such a state. Sitting across from him in the observation lounge, her suspicions were confirmed. He had his hands clasped together on the table top, and was staring in their direction, but not really seeing them. He was far off n his own little world. You didn't need to be an empath to see that.

"Good morning, everyone. I wanted to call you to this meeting to discuss a few things."

We all snap to attention as Captain Picard begins to speak.

"Our conference between the Ulians and the Mentakans has been re-schedualed for one week from today instead of two, so for all of you who were prepairing things for the confrence, I'm afraid you'll need to finish them up quickly if you are not already finished. The Ulian ambassadors have insisted on changing the date of the conference because there have been rumors of the Mentalkens attempting to sabotage their peace talks in the past. It seems as though we are dealing with a similar situation as when we were dealing with the Kes and the Pritt. I warn you now," he concludes with a smile. Deanna knew that he was smiling for multiple reasons. One, his small bit of comic relief seemed to be approved. Two, he was remembering he and Beverly's time on the planet of KesPritt. They had confessed their love to each other. Even though it hadn't spiced up their relationship much, it had been an important turning point for her best friend and the captain. She felt Beverly blush a little on Deanna's right.

"And in other news, I would like to inform you all that Commander Riker has been offered command of the USS Titan. Congratulations, Commander."

_Oh, no. This is NOT how it's supposed to happen! _

Will looked across the table at Deanna, his Imzadi. Her eyes met his instantly. She was trying her hardest to smile and be happy for him, but he could read her face like an open book after all these years. Her eyes snapped away from his, and looked down into her lap. Only when he looked away from her he noticed that his friends were clapping him on the shoulders and congradulating him. He smiled at them, thanking them. As Picard said, "Dismissed" more of the bridge staff came from around the table came to talk to Will. The more he was crowded around, the more he wanted to run after Deanna, who had gotten up and left the observation lounge in haste.

_Dammit, what am I going to do?_

He politely excused himself from the throng of friends surrounding him. He dashed to the turbolift, and caught it before the doors closed, denying Troi of her much wanted escape.

Deanna looked to her feet as soon-to-be Captain William T. Riker entered the lift. She could sense it was him approaching the lift without looking up.

As soon as the lift doors closed, He stood infront of her, towering over her tiny frame. She was hiding her large, onyx eyes from him, but she could feel his bright blue ones drilling holes into her. She tried to keep her eyes down, but she knew in her heart that resistance was futile. She felt him place his hand gently on chin, bringing her gaze up, up, up to his own.

"Deanna... I wanted more than anything to tell you myself... I didn't want it to happen this way, but...," he sighed, looking down for a moment, " but I think I'm going to take the offer."

If she could have stepped back, she would have. The turbo lift walls held her in place.

"Computer, hold lift." She whispered, and the lift heard her. He looked up at her, as she said,

"I'm happy for you, Will. Proud of you. No one deserves this more than you. I just don't have to like it, that's all."

Their eyes remained locked for a moment, then Will said sadly,

"My greatest hesitation is you. I knew that you wouldn't want me gone, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to leave you behind. I want you to come with me, Deanna. Be Titan's counselor, and Diplomatic Officer. We'll need you. I need you."

How was she supposed to respond?

_No. I don't want to leave the Enterprise. No..._

"Will, I..."

"Deanna, I don't want you to answer right away. Get back to me whenever you feel ready, alright? I only want this if you want this," looking away from her, " Computer, resume."

_What should I do? Would I be able to adjust more easily to a life without Will, or a new ship; a new life?_

The remaining thirty seconds came and went in silence. As the lift doors opened, Deanna made her way swiftly around the commander and down the corridor before he had a chance to turn around.

In his quarters the following evening, Will Riker sat on the edge of his bed, with his head in his hands.

He had been looking over schematics and diagrams of the Titan all day. Yes, he had decided to accept.

He had also been looking over records of the crew of the Enterprise, hand-choosing some of his crew. He had talked to Ensign O'Connor, who had accepted. She was a prodogy in Stellar Cartography. If Titan was going to be exploring strange new worlds, they were going to need the best of the best. If it were a perfect world, he would have all of his friends come to the Titan, but they had their own priorities to worry about, their own lives to carry on here on the Enterprise. One of them being Deanna. His best friend, his soulmate, his _Imzadi_. Could a man live with only half a heart? He would have to find out if she declined. It was already hard to breathe. He hadn't seen her since the episode in the turbolift. Not even on the bridge. He had been meaning to talk to Beverly; ask if she was alright...

_Blip_

Someone was at the door.

"Come in," he called, without looking up. For a moment, he thought that there had been some malfunction; there was no voice, no noticeable footfall. Not until he felt someone sit beside him on the mattress.

She had entered silently, after 24-plus hours of attempting to distract herself. Distract herself from the thought of living on the Enterprise without her best friend there beside her. It was a hard thing for her to wrap her mind around. She hadn't had to think about it for six years, which certaintly didn't help. At least 8 of those hours were spent crying. She prepared herself for enduring the awkward atmosphere that was beginning to show. She found him in his room, head in hands. She could only guess how long he had been that way. He didn't move as she sat silently down beside him. There were no words to be found, for either of them. Overwhelmed by his emotions on top of hers, she found herself with her arms around his neck, her cheek on his shoulder, (where she usually found herself when either of them were in distress.) He impulsively embraced her, pulling her close. The awkward feeling in the air disapeared long enough to allow them the moment. But all good things must come to an end.

After about three minutes or so, Deanna made the heart wrenching decision to speak, but before she did, she tightened her grip to feel his support, even though he wasn't going to like what she was about to say.

"I'm staying," she whispered, as the tears that she tried to hold back rolled down, leaving a dark stain on the commander's uniform shirt. She was afraid that he would be angry, that we would let her go, but he just held her closer.

"It's alright. I only want it if you want it, remember? It's alright, Imzadi, it's alright." He kissed her cheek, wiping away the tears, though he knew she could feel his dissapointment. Trying to mask it with more comforting sounds, rocking her gently back and forth, slowing her sobs. Unable to speak, she sent to his mind:

_"I want to go with you... but I can't, Imzadi, I can't..."_

_"It's alright, Deanna, it's alright! I just want you to be happy, that's all. It's alright..."_

They stayed that way for a while, long after they were both relatively calm. They just sat there in silence, wrapped around each other, leaning back against the headboard. She had her head on his chest, and his arms around her. It took Riker a while to realize that she had fallen asleep. It _was_very late.

_She's probably worried and decided herself to exhaustion,_he realized. He was still in his day clothes, on top of the covers, lights on full brightness. He didn't have the heart to wake her, so he reached over to touch the PADD on his side table, turning off the lights. Then, all he could do was mentally prepare himself for spending the night with his soul mate, in one of the last ways he would have imagined.

**Part Two: Not Really Goodbye**

It was around 10 o'clock in the morning when Will Riker woke up, and when he did, Deanna Troi was gone. He considered finding her, but decided to give her some time. Infact, he didn't see her again all day. Some selfish part of him was almost glad that they were keeping some distance, so he could get used to her not being by his side. But the rest of him was distracted, irritated, and lonely. _You better get used to it, Riker, _he warned himself.

By the end of the afternoon, he had talked to the rest of the people on the enterprise that he wanted on his staff, including one Christine Vale, a lieutenant commander in engineering. She had a lot of promise, and so did the others that he talked to, who included Nurse Allysa Ogawa, whom Beverly had been training for years, so he knew that she would be top notch on the Titan. He spent an hour on the holodeck, set in Denali National Park, in Alaska, where he loved to go as a child, hiking and such. He went back to his quarters at around 2200 hours, got some dinner, and went to bed.

Around 0100, a sudden increase of light woke him. One eye fluttered open to reveal Deanna, in her pajamas, standing in the doorway. He closed his eyes again and smiled.

"Aren't you supposed to be asleep by now?" He asked playfully.

"I was asleep, but I had a bad dream." She whispered, as she walked towards the bed, the doors again closing, the darkness taking hold once more. By then, he sat up in bed, and pulled back the covers, welcoming her.

"What happened, Imzadi?" He asked as she climbed in.

"I dreamed that the Titan got into a battle, and you died." she said almost calmly, hugging herself closer to him, to be sure it was only a nightmare.

He tilted her chin up, looking into her eyes, now that they had adjusted to the darkness.

"We'll be alright."

He kissed her lips, having intended to pull back after only a second, but he stayed there, thriving in the sensation of her kiss. But it was her who gentley pushed him back, her hand on his chest, her eyes closed.

"When are you leaving, Will?"

He sighed, knowing that that was coming.

"Tomorrow night."

"Oh." Was all she could say. There was nothing else she _could_say. She remained silent, and still, for a few more minutes, as though she was re-charging her heart. She needed him more than anything right then, but she was suddenly angry. So she threw back the covers, and lept up from his arms. He had been holding her hand, and he held it as long as he could, witout alowing himself to slow her down for even a moment. As soon as she was out of his reach, he pulled his arm back against his chest, tryng to hold on to her warmth. His immediate thought was, "_If you love her, let her go." _But then he realized, that almost every time he had said that, he regretted not running after her. So, he sprung from his bed, grabbed a small black box, threw on a plain white t-shirt, and ran from his quarters in nothing but that and his regulation black boxers, to the quarters of the woman that he wasn't going to let run away again.

As soon as Deanna had gotten ten steps from his quarters, the silent tears began to fall as she ran. She realized that she was running from the fear of being alone, the knowledge that her Imzadi would be gone within twenty four hours... it seemed as though the only thing she wasn't running from was Will. But she kept running, none the less. When she reached her quarters, she ran through the doors, and dove onto her bed, ordered the lights down to 30%, and burried herself in the blankets.

When Will reached her door, he didn't hesitate. He didn't ring the chime. He just found herself by her bedside. He found her on her side, eyes open, but looking down. He stood in front of her, his hands clasped in front of him.

"Deanna. Come with me. I can't live without you. Please, Imzadi, please!" She didn't even move. "Deanna, I was hoping to save this until you said yes to coming with me, but now it's my last attempt. Deanna, will you come with me if I marry you first? Will you marry me?" He extended the small box, opening it. He looked to her face, looking for movement, preferably a smile, but she didn't budge. But inside, he had pushed her over the edge of sanity. She was dying inside. She wanted to say yes; she had been wanting this for almost two decades. But, she couldn't. She wasn't ready to give up everything for him yet, (well, everything but her home.) It also tore her up to see him like that; his blue eyes sparkling with tears even in the dim light. She couldn't help but close her eyes, failing to keep a tear from falling. He dropped to both his knees in front of her face, and placed his hand on her cheek, wiping away a mournful tear with his thumb.

"I love you, Imzadi. Please... come with me. I need you." He pleaded, not concerned with dignity. He was on his knees begging her, and he meant every word. She reluctantly brought her gaze to his, finally, held it there for a moment, then, fast as lightning, untangled her arm from the confines of the sheets, and pulled his face to her's, and kissed him. He felt a tear roll down her face, wetting his cheek as it fell. She held the back of his neck, being sure he wouldn't leave her quite yet. She whispered into his mind as she held him hostage:

_I can't. I love you too, Imzadi, but I can't. I'm so sorry, Imzadi, I'm so sorry._

_Don't be sorry, Imzadi, it's alright... Of course I'm sad, but I only want what's best for you...If I can't take you with me, just please let me stay tonight._

She didn't need any more persuading. Not having broken the kiss yet, and not planning to, he climbed over her, landing on the other side of the bed. Their love was driven by hurt, anger, and loss, but as usual, love tramped all other emotions. He removed all that kept them apart, from regrets to clothing, and they united once more, one last time. One last chance to be Imzadi. Tears still streamed down her face, and Will's eyes threatened to do the same. She didn't want to let him go, from her grip or from the Enterprise. Whenever he was going into a dangerous situation without her, it burned a hole in her heart. He never liked going into battle without her either, to not have her by his side for support, to draw strength from her presence. But right now, she was there, willingly giving herself to him, as well as taking him for her own. Right then, all there was was her. Their emotions intertwined as their souls had long ago, feeling each wave as one. When their accent reached it's highest point, they felt the final rush together as they plummeted back down to earth, holding each each other close. They didn't let go all through the night.

The next morning, she woke in his arms. Though they had shifted during the night, their subconscious had kept them together while they dreamed. After nights of bad dreams and worries, she felt more refreshed than she had in years. She was on her side, he was lying behind her, his arms around her. She hugged his arms close to her, and was completely content... until she came back to reality. He was leaving tonight. She turned over, facing him, feeling the need to spend every moment she had left as close to him as possible. His arms still draped around her, she wrapped her arms around his neck and his back, pulling her sleeping Imzadi closer. He slowly stirred, and held her even tighter, smiling. He could smell the sweet scent of her hair, for his face was buried in her beautiful mane. He kissed her forehead and smiled at her, though inside he was broken. She tried to smile back, blinking in the artificial sunlight. She glanced at the clock on the bedside table. 0900 hours.

"When?"

He sighed, and told her, "1800 hours. But I don't need to be anywhere untill 1500 at the least." He smiled, trying not to make her upset, trying to make her see the day optimistically. She didn't fully, but after everything he had been willing to put on the line for her, she didn't want to upset him.  
She smiled at him, and kissed him sweetly. He rolled her over so that she was on his chest, and he kissed her with more passion and more love than he had in a long time. He wanted to make every moment count, because he knew that there would be no passionate goodbyes when he transported over to the Titan, for all their friends would be there to send him off. He held her there with her head on his chest as they both fell back asleep.

They woke again at around 1200 hours, and got dressed. As they were about to go out the door, Deanna stopped him, grabbing the back of his uniform.

"Wait. We'll be with the others up until you... you leave..." She didn't need to say more. He kissed her full and true, holding her against him as close as he could get. She wrapped her arms around him, and rested her head on his chest, as he rested his chin on top of her head. She decided then and there that there would be no more tears. She was an adult, for crying out loud. After a few minutes, he said,

"They'll be waiting for us, Imzadi. Are you ready to go?"

"Yes." She took his hand as they walked to Ten Forward.

When their friends saw them enter, hand in hand, they weren't surprised. They all knew that Will leaving was going to be hard, but especially for all talked for a couple hours, then they recieved word that the Titan would be there in one hour tops, so Will excused himself to go and make sure that he was all packed up and ready to go. Deanna wanted to go with him, but she knew that the more of these last minutes that they spent together, would make things so much harder to say goodbye. So she stayed with the rest of her friends, changing the subject of conversation, attempting to distract herself. The others knew her well, and went along with it.

An hour later, they all stood in Transporter Room 3, watching as Will and Captain Picard stood before them.

"William T. Riker, it is my honor to hereby promote you to the rank of captain, commanding officer of the U.S.S Titan." He placed a fourth pip on his collar, sealing the deal as it were. They all hated the formalities, but it had to be done. His friends cheered, clapping, laughing, smiling. He walked over to Data, and firmly shook his hand.

"It has been an honor serving with you, Captain Riker." Data said. Riker nodded, and embraced the android. "I'm gonna miss you, Data." Data simply smiled in his own way, as Riker moved on.

"Good luck, Will." Said Beverly, kissing his cheek and hugging him.

"Thanks, Bev. I hope our CMO will be almost as great." He smiled at her. Next, he held out a hand to Worf, who simply said, "Con, Captain." and Riker nodded his thanks. Everyone knew that he was trying to be happy and formal and brief, for it wasn't really goodbye. He shook Geordi's hand, and the Lieutenant clapped him on the back. Neither said anything, but there was no need. He didn't go to his former CO, for they had already said there goodbyes after a long chat in his ready room. So, he went to Deanna, who, poor thing, was trying her best to smile at him. She sent, _"I'm so proud of you, Imzadi."_

He beamed down at her, his ice blue eyes threatening to drip. He took a step forward, intending to embrace her one last time, but she put out a hand. It killed her to do so, it really did, but at the time it seemed like the right thing, for both of them. He shook it firmly, but gently. Still holding her tiny hand in his, he sent to her, _"Last chance, Imzadi." _She shook her head ever so slightly, only noticible to him. Though he could feel all the other's eyes on him, he took a swift step forward and kissed her cheek. Then, without another word, he went to the transporter pad, his bad over his shoulder, and said.

"Permission to dissembark, sir."

"Granted," sighed Picard, and he nodded to Cheif O'Brian to send him out. As the new captain began to fade within the beam, he looked into his Imzadi's eyes, sending, _"I understand."_

The bridge crew began to file out of the transporter room, untill only the captain and Deanna remained. Jean-Luc placed a hand on her shoulder.

She smiled at him through the pain, and they left together. But as they stepped out, she glanced over her shoulder into the room and sighed.

_Good luck, Imzadi._


End file.
